3 Steps to Help You Breakthrough a “Funk” & Clarify the Next Right Move Today
When you’re an ambitious, goal oriented person it can feel DEEPLY unsettling to find yourself in a Funk.
We feel our best when we’re focusedly driving towards a goal, “getting our fix” with the momentum and growth that comes with overcoming challenges, and the confidence and validation that result.
So when you feel like you’ve:
📌 Hit a ceiling or plateau and your old strategies that worked, no longer do,
📌 Closed a chapter without a clear “What’s Next,”
📌 Or, just feel unmotivated, and maybe not excited for the future…
YEAH. It’s gonna be alarming, frustrating, defeating, or at the least, send you for a mental loop that has you questioning everything from your job, to your relationships, to whether Mercury is in retrograde or is it just you?
Relax. You’re Not Doomed. You’re Right on Course.
The Good News: This is normal. This will pass.
Just like Nature has her Seasons, we all go through the 4 Phases of Change, and you’re just in one of the uncomfy, less sexy, probably more internal / reflective phases (more on those later).
Knowing where you’re at in the cycle of change will help you feel assured that you’re actually on-course, see that this phase will pass, and know *exactly* the next right move to make to regain your vision, momentum, and confidence.
Get Oriented by Identifying the Phase of Change You’re In.
Truthfully, you could slice-and-dice the “Cycle of Change” into 63 phases, if you wanted to!
But, I like one that keeps it simple and intuitive (it maps to the seasons!) with 4 Phases. Also, they are all card playing metaphors which makes each one and it’s meaning easier to remember.
The 4 Phases of The Cycle of Change:
Phase 1: Shuffle
Phase 2: Deal
Phase 3: Play the Hand
Phase 4: Toss In
Read about each of the 4 Phases Below, then…
STEP 1: Ask yourself: “Which phase best sums up where I’m at right now?”
PHASE 1: SHUFFLE
The first phase is the shuffle phase - think of this one like a “Spring” Season. A lot of people romanticize springtime - new blooms, pretty flowers, and april showers.
But in reality, it starts out with these little seeds trying to push through the frost on the ground to get out and grow. You're coming out of a winter, you're starting off in the dark.
This is a stage marked with quite a bit of confusion, and perhaps not much excitement for the future, which can feel alarming to us ambitious folks (because we tend to feel best when we’re experts hitting our stride). This shuffle phase is about detaching from what's not working, AKA the “Winter” you just went through when things came to an end.
It's the time that we are taking a pause to find out what's next. It can be a little alarming because we don't have a “target” we’re aiming our energy towards. We can feel confused and not like ourselves at this point.
The process of the shuffle phase is to take stock of your life and start re-evaluating what matters to you. What are your priorities? What do you want? What's next?
This phase tends to come after achieving a huge milestone in your career.
Maybe it was writing the book, getting married, completing a massive project, or hitting an income, revenue or promotion goal. Regardless, something has come to an end. You have done the thing, you left the company, you hit the goal. The question becomes: Now what are you striving for?
What comes next? It's an experiment. You start experimenting and practicing a variety of things and seeing what thrills you? What feels like a great blend between your natural talents, what’s needed and what you enjoy?
Become really empathetic and compassionate and encouraging towards yourself to acknowledge that this is going to be a bumpy, weird time until you pick the next target.
But the best thing you can do during this phase is to reflect, take stock of what you want, and then experiment with different things.
This could be a great time to take on clients or “passion projects” pro bono. This could be a good time to regularly journal, talk with your most trusted network, and get back in touch with your past clients.
Sometimes you need to get closer to the pulse of your work rather than being so far removed from it. This phase gets you to reground yourself and what people need and want.
At the end of the shuffle phase, you pick a direction/target to move towards, and create an initial plan to get started.
♣️ PHASE 1 SUMMARY: SHUFFLE
What It’s About: Detachment from what’s “not working” in life & charting a new path ahead. “Time out” to emotionally heal, reflect & research, and eventually, pick a new direction or goal to focus on.
How It Feels:
Introspective
Ready to find purpose
Fear of the unknown
Low level of excitement for uncertain future
Mixed energy — lots of ups and downs
Process:
Take stock of your life
Re-evaluate core values, feelings & what you want most now
Then, decide where to turn next
What Helps:
Choosing a place to begin — “begin somewhere” — & take action
Acknowledge fears & challenge/question limiting beliefs holding you back from what you want. Brief, daily journaling helps BIG TIME here.
Set goal(s) and create a plan; decide how and when to implement
PHASE 2: DEAL
The second phase is the Deal Phase - think of it like your “Summer” season. This phase is all about ACTION and imperfectly moving towards that new goal that you set for yourself at the end of the Shuffle phase.
The Deal phase feels higher energy than the Shuffle phase because you have a general direction that you're moving towards (sweet relief!). You feel more optimistic about the future and you’re more confident because you're taking action. You’ll start with a decent dose of trepidation or uncertainty, and that makes sense - you’re in an experimentation phase! But all of the action taking, networking, researching, learning and pivoting you’ll be doing will inject your life with a welcome sense of momentum and excitement.
While your energy is higher during this phase, you can be hit with some big time fears about the consequences of succeeding or failing. You’ll wish you had the fool proof plan, someone to just tell you “Do this and you’ll be successful!,” but you don't.
It’s important during the Deal phase to take things “one step at a time,” and set manageable goals so you build a sense of momentum and confidence. Save time at the end of each week to reflect on what’s working, what’s not, and what your biggest wins and takeaways have been – you need this dedicated “synthesizing” time during a phase of so much information gathering!
Most importantly, make your metrics of success things that are within your control - showing up, booking a certain number of meetings per week, outreach, posts, reasonable chunks of new projects, etc. - and stay consistent, even when you are not guaranteed results.
♦️ PHASE 2 SUMMARY: DEAL
What It’s About: Time for taking action! — experimenting, training, networking, & implementing the plan made in the Shuffle Phase….basically, taking action on the direction you decided to head in Shuffle
How It Feels:
Optimistic & excited about the future
Confident b/c you’re in the driver's seat, taking action, & opportunities abound!
Energy is high
Fear of failure or success
Process:
Start hesitatingly — not wanting to commit
Take action “one step at a time”
Build confidence & clarity by taking action
Make a commitment to a path & trust yourself
What Helps:
High level of action taking
Planning work sessions or weekly check-in’s w/ friends
Networking & interviewing past customers
Planning & re-planning (adjusting)
Research & Practice
Prioritizing & re-prioritizing continuously
Following through on your plan & staying connected to purpose
PHASE 3: PLAY THE HAND
Then, we get to the third phase - Playing the Hand, which is a lot like a “Harvest” season. This is when you get to reap the fruits of all your introspection, brave action taking towards a goal, and rapid upskilling from the past two phases. Finally, you’re hitting your stride!
In the Play the Hand phase, you’re living your dream - stay present to it! You fought hard to get yourself here, remember to consistently acknowledge and celebrate your progress, versus taking it for granted and killing your own momentum and joy thinking you’re just meeting basic expectations.
You're reaching a new level of success, and you're enjoying this general state of well-being. You really feel like you have hit your stride, you're an expert at the thing that you're doing, and you get to be in a phase of rinsing and repeating what's working.
The name of the game here is to continuously re-prioritize to keep yourself positioned in your Genius Zone, focused on the work where you create the most impactful results with the greatest ease.
When you get to this level of success, others notice! And it’s likely you’ll be pulled in a lot of competing directions. Boundaries around work, time protected and respected for your game-changing projects/skills, and acknowledging and celebrating your progress along the way are crucial to maintaining your momentum, joy and confidence. A lot of my super ambitious, talented clients really struggle to ever feel like any of it is enough or that they are enough. So, we have a ritual - at the start of every coaching call, we celebrate 3 wins, accomplishments or ways they made themselves proud in the past two weeks. You can start this ritual at the start of every call with your best friend, assistant, partner or family member you talk to regularly.
What really helps is to focus on the present moment, and keep saying “yes” to work within your Genius Zone, and “no” to the shiny objects outside of it.
♥️ PHASE 3 SUMMARY: PLAY THE HAND
What It’s About: Living your dream, reaching a level of success and enjoying a state of well-being
How It Feels:
Fear of failure & inadequacy
Sense of fulfillment and peace and purpose
Wondering: “What do I do next?” “How do I find the time to do all of this?"
Process:
Stick to the plan & consistently take action
Re-prioritize & protect time for your Genius Zone
Practice staying present
Enjoying & Celebrating your success
What Helps:
Focusing on the present moment
Making celebration a ritual
Time Management & prioritization of game-changing work
Boundaries around work & prioritizing your health & rest
Assess what’s working, what isn’t
Delegating, releasing control, documenting processes & leveraging help
Reframing success as the way your show up for the process — not an outcome
PHASE 4: TOSS IN
The 4th phase, the Toss In phase, shares a lot of similarities with Winter - It's a time when things come to an end, whether in “success” or “failure.”
More often than not, we’re not ready for the “Toss In” phase and for things to end ….nor do we typically feel ready to walk into a yet unknown future. Because of that “unreadiness” and resistance, the Toss In phase often kicks off with a splash of anxiety, nervousness, procrastination and delaying or resisting the end.
Once things finally do come to an end, then begins a waiting and acceptance period - a time where you pause and wait for the dust to settle, and for you to reckon with this new normal post-ending.
Winter is also a time of ending, forced pause, and incubating the new growth (that will poke out in Spring). We’re a part of nature, too, so it makes sense that we, our relationships and our businesses and careers also go through a period of endings, pause and incubation. However, for us ambitious folks who love the action-packed, momentum & success-filled “Deal” and “Play The Hand” phases, seasons of forced pause and uncertainty about what’s to come can feel deeply uncomfortable and alarming.
Typical experiences through the Toss In phase is the fear of the unknown, and what's ahead. Feeling like your success and ability to create what you want are somehow out of your control. Even blaming others or yourself can be common during this phase. So too are dealing with a feeling of loss or abandonment, isolation, feeling like nobody understands, or there's nobody else to turn to, and keeping to yourself a feeling of desperation or depression.
What really helps during this phase is to really feel those feelings. As cheesy as that sounds, the best way to go through this phase is to really FEEL it. Really focus on the value of this season. It is a time when the next version of you is about to be born.
Just know, if you’re here - you’re normal. You’re not doomed. This isn’t forever, it will pass.
To my clients, I encourage them (and myself) to find reverance for the rest, the pause, the “crucible” period. There’s going to innevitably be people in your ambitious circles hitting you with the dreaded question: “SO, WHAT’S NEXT?!” or “HOW’S WORK?!” You might not have an answer right now, and that’s okay. You’re in this waiting period, this fallow period, to allow the next fuller expression of you/your work/your relationships to incubate. The old is melting down, like a crucible, and the new hasn’t taken shape, but it’s being formed. Protect and honor this sacred time.
Okay, FINE, it’s purposeful, but what can I DO while I wait? Personally, I find peace in the “Toss In” phase through meditation, consciously surrendering control, and asking for guidance. I’ll ask: “How are my gifts and talents best expressed in this next chapter? What’s seeking to express through me?” I pray, too, affirming that the fullest expression of me and the perfect opportunities and people to make it a reality are manifesting quickly and easily, for the highest benefit of all those concerned, that however it looks, it be a massive blessing on the world, and I release it and celebrate it being so. I close out by knowing it’s already done. Then, I focus my time and attention on things within my control that bring me peace and health - eating well, movement, walking & seeing friends.
Practicing gratitude, looking for the silver lining, and really taking hold of your mindset to choose more powerful interpretations of what is happening are all extremely helpful processes in the Toss In phase, too. Remember, even the painful muck is clarifying for you what you DO want (by showing you what you don’t want / don’t want to repeat). Journaling and taking stock of what you are learning, what it is revealing to you, and what you want in the next phase of your business, is a great idea in the Toss In phase.
Most importantly, lower expectations of yourself in the Toss In. One of the best ways to kick yourself while you're down is to be forever raising the bar and having too high expectations during a hibernation season. Show yourself grace and compassion; you’re incubating a whole new reality, after all.
♠️ PHASE 4 SUMMARY: TOSS IN
What It’s About: When things come to an end — whether in “success” or “failure” — and we’re usually never ready for them to end. The “Toss In” is like Winter. We typically resist the change. Then, the end comes, and we’re forced into a pause to wait while the dust settles, and come to terms with the necessity to incubate and step into something new.
How It Feels:
Scary — fear of the unknown
Out of your control — Victim-y
Dealing w/ loss or abandonment
Isolation & Feeling like no one is there to turn to
Desperation & wishing things were different
Depression
Process:
Dreading the end
Trying to resist or stave off the change
Wondering why it’s happening to you
Feeling overwhelmed
Surrendering and accepting
What Helps:
Understand which feelings are coming up, acknowledging them, experiencing them — but with breaks
Taking stock of what you’re learning from this
Choosing more powerful interpretations
Intentionally practicing gratitude & looking for the silver-lining
Taking very small baby steps
Lowering expectations on yourself
If you and I were in a coaching session right now, I’d ask… Which of these phase’s best sums up where you’re at and why? Take out a pen, grab a notebook, and really write down and process your own answer to that now.
Oftentimes, we are feeling caught in between two phases and we identify with one phase as well as the one that's coming and we're in transition.
STEP 2: Ask yourself: “Given the phase I’m in, what are the most helpful focuses, priorities and practices for me right now? What’s most supportive of the place I’m in?”
After we know which phase resonates most with your context, it’s time to focus on which priorities and strategies are most supportive of you now, and in the near future. Take a look back at the suggestions given above…Which ones feel “right” for you right now? We want to focus you on the few priorities and moves that will really help you maximize the phase you’re in, and successfully help you transition into the next phase.
STEP 3: Ask yourself: “What are 3 Baby Steps (30 minutes or less) that I could take in the next 24 - 48 hours to align with that focus?”
Finally, I would focus on what are 3 baby steps (30 min or less) that you could take to align with those priorities, and take those within the next 24 - 48 hours. Why? To strengthen your confidence in yourself - that you’re a person who takes action towards what you want - and reignite a sense of confidence and momentum.
Whenever a client comes to me sharing that they’re in a Funk and don’t know why or how to get their mojo back, this is my favorite exercise and framework to create immediate relief for them.
One of the best ways to get back into your seat of power is to relax, and know that you’re right on track and there is a beautiful purpose for the phase you’re in. The Cycle of Change can help you orient yourself in any phase, normalize your experience, and help you focus on the essential priorities and practices to move gracefully through that phase and into the next.
P.S. Could you use some help clarifying what’s next for you and how to get started on it? Book a 90-Minute Power Session. These sessions are JAM PACKED with value, and you’ll walk away with all of our notes and my follow up recommendations/referrals in a neat Playbook, plus 3 clear next steps to solve your stickiest problem in business. I’m even available for coaching for 2 weeks after on Voxer to make sure you get in action, have support while you’re working out the kinks, and maintain your momentum.